I used to be the most negative person I’ve ever known. I was always blaming other people for my downfalls and refusing to let go of the past. They say attitude is everything and mine sucked for a very long time until I realized that life isn’t always perfect. It actually never is. Happiness came to me gradually as I learned a few major keys in life.
Throughout every mistake and bad thing that happened to me, I started to rise up by changing the way I saw things. These are some life tips, tricks and realizations that have helped me flourish. I hope they do the same for you.
- Cleanse out the old energy — You can burn sage in your home everyday but nothing will change in your life if you don’t learn how to cleanse all the negativity you’ve been holding onto deep inside. Maya Angelou said it best, “If you want to fly, you’ve got to get rid of everything that weighs you down”. Forgive people, let the hurt go and go within. Don’t give negative people a part in your story, silence them. Remove toxicity and watch yourself elevate. Contrary to what twitter seems to think, toxic things and people aren’t just confined to relationships, it’s what we put in our bodies, what we see on social media and how we think.
- Nothing Happens to you, it happens for you — It’s so easy to have a victim mentality and wallow in a wave of sadness thinking of all the bad stuff that’s happened to you. But newsflash, if you couldn’t of handled it, it wouldn’t have happened. Pain, discomfort, and heartbreak happen for you to learn lessons. You have to keep going, it was supposed to happen.
- Life isn’t a fairytale for most people, FYI — -being upset at things that we can’t change will only create unnecessary misery in your life. Expecting perfection in everything is unrealistic. Embrace life’s ups and downs while keeping in mind that without pain, we wouldn’t gain anything. Perfect stories never made the NY Times Bestseller list. It’s the stories of adversity, pain and resilience that really connect with people.
- How People Treat You says everything about them and hardly anything about you — -How we treat people is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Everything is a projection.You can’t go around doing people any kind of way and have everything going on right with you. Have you ever had a friend who always has something negative to say? Chances are, they have those negative feelings about themselves and are just projecting them unto you. Happy people don’t go around bringing other people down and wreaking havoc on peoples live. Take notes people.
- Good people exist just as much as the bad ones do — It’s easy to get discouraged when people treat us poorly but it’s vital to believe that there are good people placed in your life during different seasons of your life. My grandma taught me that very young. She never fails to make me laugh when she says “If I didn’t have a bad husband at the beginning of my life, then I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate my good one”. Appreciate the bad people, you’ll realize why you needed them to treat you that way in the long haul. We all have good people all around us and I promise they’ll continue to make more of an impact on us than the bad ones have.
- You are as good as your perspective — They say time heals all wounds. While that may be true, I’ve noticed things change the most for me when my perspective does. When things come to an end, sometimes the feeling may make us sad but in life, everything must end. Everything. Relationships, our time on earth, jobs, friendships, tv series, etc. It’s pointless to try and make sense of the things we don’t understand. We have to let things come and go gradually and always keep the right perspective. If someone leaves you, they were never for you. If you got laid off from your job, there’s a better one out there for you. If a friend betrayed you, God is making room for the real ones to show up in your life. Trust the process.
- Your thoughts become your reality — The mind isn’t just the most powerful organ in your body for no reason. What you think matters and want to know the good news? You can control what you think. Tell your mind what to think and watch your life change. In the digital world that consumes us, it’s easy for social media to shape how we think of ourselves but one can’t have constant negative thoughts and live a happy life. Happiness isn’t found outside of yourself, it’s in you. Speaking things into existence is real. Your words and thoughts will return to you either as a blessing or a lesson. Don’t talk down on yourself, speak success, wealth and happiness over your life. I start my days off by waking up and saying, “Today is a great day. I’m happy, healthy and divine. I am love and I attract nothing but love”. Saying that affirmation really does set the tone for how my day will be. Chances are, if I’m so focused on making everyday a good one, then nine times out of ten, it’ll be just that.
- Stop Caring about what other think — This is something I used to struggle with constantly but I’m working on day by day. Worrying about what other people think is just going to keep you stagnant in life. People will talk about you whether you’re down or up. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. A lot of us waste tons of energy on caring with what other people think about us and believing it to be true. It’s detrimental in our success and happiness. Pour that energy elsewhere, it only matters what we believe about ourselves.
Life doesn’t stop for anyone, it keeps going so we must follow suit. Happiness looks different for everyone but it is within all of us, we just have to find it.